1. The bus driver told me not to walk in front of the bus, it is not safe.
First please take a look at Diagram #1
I ask you, how the hell else am I supposed to get to the bus? I mean while I understand he meant the fact that I had walked so close in front of the bus but still, I had reasons for that. I mean I would not have had to walk so close in front of the bus if the Moron on her cell phone had not stopped blocking the crosswalk. See instead of walking in the crosswalk like normal I passed behind the Moron's vehicle and therefore my path to get to the bus put me closer to the front of the bus. So according to the Almighty Bus Rules I had passed within some arbitrary amount of feet in front of the bus and therefore deserved a tongue lashing. Though the lashing was polite, eerily so in fact. I tried to tell the driver that I knew I walked in front of the bus, but I had to walk around the Moron on her cell phone whose vehicle we could both clearly see was in the middle of the crosswalk. He just repeated his mantra about it not being safe to walk in front of the bus, somewhat robotically, obviously expecting me to have used my supernatural powers that allow me to walk through solid objects like cars. I pointed to the lady again and got the same exact reply. At this point I did not feel like arguing with the robot bus driver any longer and found a seat.
But my real question is how the hell am I supposed to get to the bus without walking in front of it?!?!?! I walk in front of the bus every day to get on it. No other driver has ever robotically told me to not walk in front of the bus. Also we were sitting at a freaking RED light and I knew the bus was not going to be running me over for at least another 20 seconds, the flashing crosswalk lights told me so. And also it is obvious the bus driver still saw me, I mean he had to see me to tell me to be safe. So really what was the point of telling me it is not safe to walk in front of the bus when I obviously have to walk in front of the bus to get on it, and also the fact that you saw me and would not have run over me just for the hell of it, and also that the little red flashing hand that gives me 20 more seconds to cross the street had not even started flashing and I was already across the street! What was the point other that to say it with so much sugar in your voice and repeat yourself twice just to annoy the freaking hell out of me and make the end of my day frustrating. Why bus driver did you feel the need to be such a nice asshat and ruin my ride home?
2. People who work on Hummers do not always drive Hummers.
I was driving by the Hummer dealership on my way home and saw an employee leaving for the evening and he was not driving one of these
Instead he was in fact driving something more like this.
I have no idea why this made me laugh so very hard, it just did. And yes he was an employee, or at least I am pretty sure because he was in uniform. Though it might have been a uniform for some other job, and he was just a guy in a crappy car looking to improve his manhood by purchasing a Hummer. Either way, the visual it created was freaking hilarious.
I hope you have more hilarious transportation encounters than annoying ones today!