How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Or rather how many people does it take to shampoo a carpet? That is my real question here.
When I renewed my lease recently they offered to have my carpets shampooed and I gladly accepted. Granted they would have to come in and just go around my furniture, but it was still better than nothing, or so I thought. And since they only do carpets on Tuesdays and Thursdays, I went ahead and scheduled mine for this past Tuesday. But I needed to vacuum before they came. Ugggh. So me being the over achiever that I am I went ahead and moved my furniture around and stacked some up and out of the way. I figured this way it would be easier for the people to shampoo my carpets and not have to maneuver around too many things. Riiiight...that's the only reason I moved things. It was definitely not because I felt that I should get everything I could out of this service, that's not it at all. So since we all agree that I only had the best interests of the janitorial staff in mind, I went ahead and moved some furniture. Then I vacuumed the whole apartment. And I felt pretty good about what I had accomplished, so I went to bed.
-Fast forward to Tuesday night about 6:30pm when I get home from work-
I walk in the door and think hmmm....I wonder if they came and shampooed my carpets today? It doesn't really look like it...I will go to the office and ask. So I go over to the office to pay my rent and ask about the carpet stuff. Only the lady in the office doesn't know if it got done or not because she just got back from vacation today. Yeah so I should call the office tomorrow and find out. Whatever. I assumed they did come, or they didn't, but either way I needed to move my stuff back. It just felt too weird with it all stacked up. The little fact that I couldn't get in my closet and reach any clean clothes for work the next day was not a problem at all. SO I moved all my stuff back assuming I would have to call for another appointment sometime. Stuff happens right and I didn't pay for it and I got a cleaner apartment out of it so no huge deal right? Right.
-Fast forward to Wednesday night about 6:30 pm when I get home from work-
Hmmm...It's really cold in here...did I leave the AC turned down this morning? Wait the tracks on the carpet look different from when I vacuumed...I think...maybe the carpet people came today even though they were supposed to come yesterday...typical...hmph...wait did they really come? So I check the thermostat and jeez its as low as it can possibly go! Crud! I have no problem if you come in and turn the AC down while you are in here but jeez don't leave it like that all day! The electricity people, the electricity! Why don't you just take some money from my tree out on the porch too! Well okay maybe you thought the carpet needed to dry, but as low as it can go!?! Really now! Darn people, never come when they say they will and always mess things up...grumble...grumble...grumble. Oh well at least most of the carpet got cleaned right? Don't be mad that you moved all that furniture all by yourself for nothing. Don't be mad. Please don't get pissed. Don't get mad because you knew, you just absolutely positively knew that the minute you put all your stuff back that they would come anyways. Just don't do it! Oh heck, its too late, you're pissed, just admit it. Grumble...Grumble...GRUMBLE!!!
Oh well, lets just fix dinner. Wait whats this? A present? The tool fairy hath visited my kitchen! What's that you say? There is no such thing as a tool fairy? Well then, how would you explain the brand new set of nifty plier thingies that have appeared near my sink? I claim tool fairy, hmph. Fine I suppose you non believers do kind of have a point...after all, all the other fairies are our parents right? And they usually leave money in exchange for something valuable like teeth, not just tools as presents. But it could be the tool fairy, right? No? Oh fine I suppose its just another thing the carpet people messed up on. Yeah you were right, I bet you noticed that funny round metal piece sitting next to the plier thingies and you probably even knew it went to my sink didn't you. Well no one asked for a smart alec. But dangit you are right. They had to take apart the faucet and couldn't even manage to put it back together or take their tool with them when they left. Why am I not surprised?
Sooo...if I were to be serious about this whole situation I would start to question a few things. Like why the people didn't come on Tuesday like we had scheduled. And if they ONLY come on Tuesdays and Thursdays then how come they came to my place on a Wednesday? And really why did the AC have to go so low, I mean I think 70 or 75 would have done the job. And so you needed a water source that you have to screw things into so the carpet shampooer thing will work, fine. But can't you put my sink back together when you are done? And do you really have so many tools that you can just leave them in random apartments? Did something happen and you had to leave really quickly, like maybe tamales for lunch in the office or the flying dog chained to my porch scared the piss out of you and you cleaned my carpet twice and then ran?
But I prefer to be less serious about the whole thing and just simply ask:
How many people does it take to shampoo a carpet?
...and come on time...and leave the AC at a reasonable temperature...and clean up after themselves...and not leave tools behind...
I should have just kept the darn pliers!